The Ingredients Of Friendship

August 15, 2023

I met Robbie at a coffee get-together in Valdosta, Georgia, when we were young moms. The hostess introduced us. They had gone to high school together. Robbie had returned to her hometown for her husband, Roy, to join a dental practice. We had a brief chat to introduce ourselves. When I got home, I thought about her need to have friends now that she had made this move. I envisioned her as being lonely because I had moved many times myself. We had moved to Valdosta the year before when my husband took a teaching position at Valdosta State University. I called and invited her to my home for coffee. We were both pleased and surprised when we discovered her two daughters were close in age to my two daughters, one a baby and the other in first grade, and she had a young son.

I learned as I became better acquainted with her that she was a very capable friendship builder! Everyone loved her outgoing personality and thoughtful ways. It amused me that I had thought of her as sitting around and feeling lonely. Not Robbie!

What do you think are the keys to a deep friendship? I read an article which stated intentionality” is a key ingredient. The following stories illustrate the ways in which Robbie fostered our 40-year friendship.

Robbie sent me books that she enjoyed. Some were books of inspiration and others were books to encourage me with my writing. She gave me the wonderful book by Celestine Sibley who was a long-time writer of a column in The Atlanta Journal and Constitution. This book was a collection of her columns. When my mother came to Topeka in her last years and lived in a retirement home, I took that book to her. As a Georgia native she was very familiar with this author. She was elated to see the book. When I came the next day, she said: “You can take the book home, I have finished it.” Yes, she had read the book in one day. As I told Robbie, her book just kept on giving.

We had moved to Shawnee, Oklahoma, when the Moody family took a month-long camping trip all the way to California and back. Roy loved camping and he was not daunted by three young children, one still in diapers, and the challenge of a month-long camping trip! They came to see us on their way home. I made a meal that wasn’t sandwiches, which I figured they had eaten a lot of—and Robbie confirmed that. From my children’s cookbook, I made a Snoopy salad which was fruit designed to look like Snoopy. Years later, I received a letter from Robbie that included a sheet from her journal. She described the day at our house and the salad I made. She even drew a picture of the salad! I was the happy recipient of that thoughtful journal entry!

Robbie and I had a lifelong project to submit an article for the Guideposts Magazine Writers’ Workshop, which is held every two years. We would send in an article when they announced the workshop, and we would share our articles with each other. We never won a trip to their workshop, but we sure did have a lot of stories collected from our lives.

Robbie came to visit on one of my yearly trips to see my parents in Americus, Georgia. My dad cooked catfish and hush puppies and we had a meal in the “summer kitchen”—their screened-in kitchen. In her inimitable way of showing interest in the other person, Robbie asked a question of my dad that I had never asked. “Why did you want to become a preacher?” My dad’s response surprised me and is one I have treasured ever since: “Because my pastor made it look like fun.”

We had moved to Topeka when the Moody family took a camping trip to a northern state. Robbie called and said they would like to come through Topeka on their way home and go to church with us. She didn’t realize we attended a church in Kansas City, not Topeka. She said she didn’t know if they could make it on time, but they would try. When our family pulled up to the church, there was their van parked in front! The service began and one of the first songs we sang was “In His time, in His time, He makes all things beautiful in His time.” I had never heard that sung in our church before. Robbie was very excited and whispered to me: “That’s our theme song for this trip!” After the service, she explained that Roy picked out a theme song for each of their trips. He had her purchase a cassette (this was a few years back) so they could play it every morning as they traveled. That song was one we would recall again and again.

When we lived in Valdosta, Robbie and I decided we would challenge each other to get together on a regular basis through the summer and memorize Scripture verses while our children played together. We decided to give each other a reward for our efforts. That’s been 38 years and I still have a well-worn refrigerator magnet with a verse on it, my gift from Robbie. To me, it sums up friendship.

But the

fruit of the Spirit is

love, joy, peace,

patience,

kindness,

goodness,

faithfulness,

gentleness,

and self-control.

The Holy Spirit produces these qualities. We must be “intentional” in living out that which God has placed in us.

In memory of Robbie Moody

February 24, 1951 – August 21, 2022